Friendship does not have to be defined in a particular way, nor can it be! Friendship is that bond that’s universal and boundless. According to my opinion, it lays the foundation of trust and love for any relationship- for a love that can be romantic or platonic.
But when we talk about romantic love and friendship, we are often cynical about the fact that they can be on the same page.
Why so?
Because-
- People tend to have misconceptions and bounded thoughts about friendship and love.
- People tend to get afraid that even if they find romantic love and friendship in a person, that if someday it stops working between them, they might lose both a lover and friend at the same time.
- People tend to think that it is too much to ask for from the same person.
- People also tend to think that this might led the other person to take all these for granted if they realize that their partner is depending on them both in terms of love and friendship.
These are all that people generally tend to think of! Life isn’t all about flying colors. It is a rollercoaster of events, sometimes sadness and sometimes happiness. But none of them are permanent. While your past experiences might haunt you to think cynically about love and friendship is on the same page, but then nothing is constant, right? Give yourself that chance to be happy again. Listen to your inner voice that says-
- Friendship and love are boundless.
- Do you think in the same way when it’s about your platonic love with your best friend from school? You never know who is going to be with you till your last day, neither can you see it. All you can do is to enjoy your present journey and give your best to it. And, what if it lasts?
- No, you can never measure- whether it is too much or not. Yes, you cannot force somebody to be your lover and friend. It happens spontaneously if it is meant to. But then don’t rush into it, give time. Let it bloom. After all, there’s always a “friend” at the end of boyfriend and girlfriend!
- Again, there is no need of predicting your future, you are not an astrologer. Also, having your romantic partner as your friend won’t limit you from having other friends in your life. If that does, it’s not worth the efforts.
But, why is friendship important in your relationship? Okay, then let’s dig into the roots of its importance-
1) Peaceful Co-existence
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At some point in time, you might have wondered that how great it would be if you could go on trips with your friend or live together! Deep down we all know that how happy we would be with our friends living with us because they understand us, love us and our frequencies resonate. This holds in the case of romantic relationships too, where your partner is your very good friend. This leads to a peaceful co-existence between partners! But this doesn’t mean that you both won’t have fights or arguments. Whether it’s only friendship, only relationship, or both, ups and downs are an integral part of the journey. Just make sure that you both don’t leave each other’s hands!
2) Communication is the Key
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Do you remember the time when you had been going through that breakdown and you just wanted to call your friend and cry your heart out? Just imagine your partner in that place, both love and friendship! You won’t have to go crazy down the contact list to find a friend, you have that one person just a call or text away maybe! Also, conflicts might arise between you two too. Couples who aren’t that friendly with each other tend to include third persons for communicating their words, which in turn intensifies the complication. While a friendly couple tends to sort it out between themselves without the involvement of anyone else.
In that case, communication seems to be less complicated and more genuine. After all, genuine communication is the key to most of your problems!
Note: Sometimes, you might need the help of other people too as in the case of therapists or some reliable person. But try to avoid people who might complicate things more between you too.
3) Giving Space is Important
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When there are proper understanding and communication, there will be room for space! Space is required for you both to explore yourselves. Who else can understand it better than your friend? Also, when your friend is your lover, it’s like a cherry on the top of the cake! Apart from self-explorations, space is required for personal growth also. Relationships are supposed to provide you with peace and happiness, and not additional headaches. And all of these are interlinked with giving each other that space to grow as lovers and most importantly as human beings.
4) Honesty is the Best Policy
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Genuine communication means honesty between the two people. Honesty is the most important ingredient in building a genuine relationship. So, I hope you can find out the links between each of the steps- Love with friendship leading to genuine communication which reflects the honesty and transparency between the couple! Honesty strengthens the foundation of trust and loyalty, hence ensures a healthy relationship. You will eventually find it difficult to hide stuff from your partner, but at least try to hide those surprises till a suitable time!
5) Better Acceptance
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A good friendship with your partner will help each of you to accept each other despite the boundaries! It is a direct consequence of love, honesty, respect, and most importantly friendship. Do your genuine friends judge you based on your past or any of your choices? No, I guess. So, the same goes for your partner, who is also your friend. This will help in creating mutual respect for differences in each other. Oh come on, you cannot expect your partner to be your mirror image! Maintaining that respect will eventually help in maintaining individuality.
6) Your Go-to Therapist
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We are all humans and we are all bound to face emotional conflicts at any point time in our lives. It might not be possible to run to a professional therapist all the time. In that case, we can immediately go to our go-to therapist that is our friend, right? And if you find that friend in your partner with whom you won’t think twice to share your feelings at that moment, then it’s a bonus! After all, we always look for that friend, that shoulder, those calming, and reassuring words when we are not okay!
7) Your Friendly Guide
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When you both are friendly towards each other, you will feel free to discuss a lot of worldly stuff with each other and seek guidance and help. Suppose, you are going through a conflict in your job or career, you might discuss the issue with your partner and if he or she is experienced enough, can guide you in that path. Even if your partner is unable to guide you, you both can discuss it and come to a convincing conclusion. This helps in reducing stress and increases productivity. There’s another advantage to it. When you both are each other’s good friends, there are lesser chances of any pride or ego between you two while handling such issues.
8) Being Crazily Ever After
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You both can have a lot of fun and craziness together. You both might have a lot of fights like Tom & Jerry, but who knows, it might end up with you both binge watching F.R.I.E.N.D.S? That’s the magic of love and friendship together. Despite all the fights and quarrels, you both will end up cuddling each other, planting a forehead kiss, and yet again planning for the next fight! But, among all these, you will not abandon each other, because it’s both of your journeys. Live each moment. Be each other’s Best Friend Forever!
A research study by The National Bureau of Economic Research suggests that the well-being effects of marriage are nearly twice as large for those whose spouse is also their best friend.
Though there is no compulsion of making your partner your best friend, you can give time to let the friendship bloom through its different stages. Don’t rush, it’s not the local train that once you miss it, you will have to wait for long to get another.
