The moment you start feeling that your relationship is perfect, you should know that's not real. That is because no such things exist as a perfect relationship. And the imperfections are the proof that you and your partner are being real while you are with each other. If you have to pretend to be someone that you are not while you are in a relationship, then that relationship is doomed from the start. Well, if there is a relationship, there will be fights. And if there are fights, you will wonder how to repair your relationship after it.
Are you wondering if you will ever be the same as you were? Don't worry because you are not alone. After a fight, most of us keep on doing the same thing. We overthink what went wrong and what we could do to make it better. So, if you are stuck in the same whirlwind now, don't worry because we got your back. This article will focus on how to deal with your relationship after you fought with your partner. Thus, to figure out a way out of your current dilemma, all you need to do is go and give this article a quick read.
Overthinking after argument
Overthinking after an argument is nothing that we do not know of already. Things like "Do they still love you?"; "Will our connection ever be the same again?" keep on spinning in your mind after a quarrel. If you are struggling with similar thoughts, trust me, you are not alone. But to stop the situation from getting aggravated, you can try and take measures, past your arguments. These are the only ways you can stop your thoughts from rushing in, and, in turn, you can even contain your overthinking.
- Create some distance from the situation: The enhanced anger can affect things in a bad way. Therefore, you should keep your distance until your mind is clear and you can think logically.
- Try to distract yourself: This is a very effective way, especially for overthinkers. Go for a stroll, listen to melodious songs, or just meditate. Do whatever fits you, but try to distract yourself from the situation.
- React or reflect only when you are calmer: Most of us have selective retention where we tend to focus more on what the other person said. We do that because it generally bolsters our emotions which tend to retain in our memories for a long time. But what we should do instead is to react to the whole situation. You should also consider your faults and try to work out how you could do better.
- Talk it out with your partner: You should always be open about what you think and feel. If you feel you were wrong, then apologize. If you feel that your partner has been wrong, try to bring it to their notice. But always ensure that you and your partner are not hesitant to open up.
3-day rule after an argument
Sometimes we end up reacting to some situations without thinking about the consequences. Later we find ourselves repenting for the same, and then we wonder how we could have handled it better. Relationships are like a rollercoaster, with equal amounts of highs and lows. Whether you blow your problems out of proportion or sit with time, think, and deal with them properly defines the foundation of your relationship. The 3-day or 72-hour rule can be very effective if you desire to deal with your relationship problems. It will help you become more sensitive while dealing with situations, and that will undoubtedly aid in strengthening your relationship.
What do you mean by the 72-hour rule?
This is a very simple rule which states that whenever something tends to upset you or someone's actions are infuriating you, wait for three days. In simple words, it means holding back your immediate reactions and giving yourself the necessary time before you come to any conclusion.
Why is this rule necessary for a relationship?
If you wait three days, you finally get the much-needed time to respond to the situation logically. Otherwise you might get into a fit of rage and utter things you might not mean. By allowing yourself to bounce back to your normal situation, you let go of such rush and anger and revert to it based on logic.
Will it matter after 72 hours?
Whenever you are going through something infuriating, always ask yourself if that will matter even after 72 hours. If that is a yes, you should patiently wait for the situation to settle down and then bring up the topic when you and your partner are calm and content to talk about the same logically.
How should you try and solve the problem after 72 hours to repair your relationship?
- Discuss the matter: Choosing the right words to have so much impact and can make a huge difference. If you keep on blaming or try to always lecture your partner, then it will hardly work out. Instead, you should try to express your concern and use words such as "I feel" or "I need".
- Address the issue: This has more importance than one thinks it to have. You should ensure that you are addressing the problem properly. Then try and end it with a solution on a positive note. You need to always remember that the aim is to not bring up that very topic again and argue over it. That will help in rebuilding trust and, in turn, strengthens your relationship.
How to comprehend if they still love you after a quarrel?
Fighting is a part of a relationship, and no matter how much we try, there is no way we can escape it. Sometimes these fights can leave you feeling insecure about whether they still love you or not. If you are wondering the same, don't panic because we are here to help you with the same. Below are listed some of the signs that you should look for to figure out the same:
1. If they try to talk to you about what happened
In the aftermath of the fight, it is pretty tempting to pretend like it never happened and trust me when I say it is the worst. It might feel that the route is very welcoming and comfortable. However, until you talk about what steered up the fight in the first place, it will never be in the "for" of your relationship. Therefore, if your partner is trying to talk about what happened, that is a plus sign. That shows that they care about your feelings and they want to ensure that the things between you both are resolved. This has to be one of the surest signs of them still loving you.
2. They do not avoid the topic on which you fought
How they react to the topic is one of the signs that you should always notice because that speaks a lot. If they openly talk to you about it, that is undoubtedly a good sign. But if they avoid it or get defensive and keep on trying to change the topic, then that shows that there are underlying feelings that are not being addressed. Openly talking about what happened is a sign of the feeling that it is worth it to work things out with you again.
3. They apologize for their part in the conflict
One of the first signs that they still love you is if they apologize for their role in the fight. That is because if they are willing to say sorry, they are more likely to admit their faults, try and fix them, and move on from what happened instead of being stuck. Apologies are a sign that someone is trying to fix the relationship.
4. They still insist on spending time together
If your partner insists on spending time together, they likely still love you. However, if they insist on avoiding you or limiting their time with you, don't conclude anything yet. That is because some people just need some space and time to process what happened and cool down. Sometimes a break of a few days can help make things easier between you both because we all know of the famous saying that goes like "Distance makes the heart grow fonder." However, if they continue to avoid you for weeks, it can be a concerning factor. That is when you should try to ask them to talk things out.
5. They listen to you when you talk
If your partner willingly listens to you when you speak, that implies they are trying to understand where you are coming from without getting defensive. That, in turn, is a good sign. Someone who listens is likely to try and process what the other person has said before. That is a sign that they still care about you, and this is also a huge part of healthy fighting.
6. They try to make it up by doing something nicer
If your partner is trying to make it up to you after a fight, that is a sign of them still caring for you. They might be not able to express things but these little things show that they are making an effort to win you back. And trust me when I say this, those little things are not little.
7. They ask for forgiveness
If your partner asks for your forgiveness after the fight, that shows that they still love you. Apologizing straight away is not that easy, so if they do that, they want to make it up to you and work along with you in improving the relationship.
8. They don't blame it all on you
If they take the blame for the fight equally, that shows that they are taking responsibility for their part in the argument. That, in turn, shows that they still care and do not intend on pushing it all on their shoulders alone.
9. They engage in open communication
The more they talk about what went wrong, the better chances you have of them still wanting you back. If they try to talk about how to handle such situations in the future, that is a positive side. Open communication is also one of the surest signs of them still loving you.
10. They do not talk bad about you behind your back
If they start bad-mouthing you after a fight, then you should stop worrying if they still love you because they probably don't. A person who tries to process what happened and work on the matter will never talk bad about you behind your back. If they have some hard feelings about you, they will prefer to talk about it with you.
If you just had a fight and the thoughts of the same are racing in your mind, then this is probably the best place for you to land on. This article has discussed all the things that you need to know to repair your relationship after a fight. Thus, if you and your partner are going through a hard time together, all you need to do is go and give this article a quick read.
TL;DR: Key Takeaways from the article:
This article has focused mainly on how to repair your relationship after a fight. It has also highlighted areas such as overthinking after an argument which is pretty common and obvious too. It has suggested ways to work things out in the form of a 3-day rule. Finally, it has even mentioned how to judge if your partner still loves you or not. Therefore, this article is your one-way stop if you have a fight with your partner and are trying hard to repair your relationship after it.