You might naturally shudder at the idea of giving space in a relationship. But, wait a minute. Giving space in a relationship is not equal to cutting off all the ties and contacts or being disloyal. Don’t mistake it for an exit strategy. To distinguish between the two, try to have some clear communication with your partner. Get both of yourselves aware of each other’s intentions. And when I say it’s clear communication, it must be so. Several studies have shown the importance of giving space in a relationship. So, from the next time onwards, before jumping to conclusions, know about the following significances of giving space in a relationship-
1) It is a sign of a healthy relationship
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You might wonder, how?
Well, when your partner or you are voicing out each other’s needs for some space, you both are being honest to each other. A relationship that does not allow you to be yourself, isn’t the kind of relationship for you. A healthy romantic relationship is not supposed to limit your priorities and goals in life. It is supposed to support your goals and help you achieve them. It is supposed to make you a better version of yourself. For that, you need your personal growth. Furthermore, for that, you need your personal space, some space that does not necessarily have to include your partner. A partner who tries to control you, limit you, and feel like a burden on you is showing signs of manipulation. That leads to a toxic relationship. Giving space to each other will help both of you to avoid that, and establish a healthy relationship.
2) It helps to cope up with conflicts
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A relationship is a part of your life and just like that, ups and downs are a part of it. It is completely natural to have conflicts with your partner at times. At those times if your partner asks for some space or if you need some space, be considerate about that. Sometimes either of you might feel uneasy about a particular situation, for which you need time to think and then draw a conclusion. At those times, giving some space might help. It helps to settle down mentally instead of rushing into something. It helps in forming opinions. Always nagging or being nagged might feel very frustrating. The opportunity to think and settling down mentally helps in restoring the peace in a relationship. It also helps in finding new ways to cope up with the stress. For example, if you have a fight with your partner and he or she is facing some difficulty to open up about the issues. At that time, instead of being forceful towards that person, try to understand it and ask him or her to take some time of their own and open up when they feel like it. Trust me, this works like magic.
3) A medicine to your mental health
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Sometimes spending some “me-time” helps in building self-confidence, self-esteem and also it feels good. Being in a relationship does not mean that you will have to leave everything in your life that previously used to exist. Else, that will lead to traumatic experiences. You will forget to love yourself and respect yourself and that will eventually lead to nowhere. That will eventually deteriorate your mental health and you will lose yourself. You need your personal space in life, irrespective of your relationship status, to stay mentally sound. For example, do you remember the time when your parents used to nag after you for anything and everything, while you just needed some privacy and your own space? It is just like that.
4) Balancing between personal life and professional life
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When you are into a professional field, you are mostly like to associate with professionals with whom you are most likely to share a professional bond and not a personal one. They might fail to understand you personally when it comes to your mental health. After all, you might not feel comfortable opening up about your personal life or your anxieties about the workplace. But when it comes to your relationship, you are emotionally bonded with your partner. Chances are more that you will find him or her as your comfort zone. This leads to you opening up to them about your work and personal life conflicts. And if your partner is your good friend, he or she will understand you. It will ease the process of giving a bit of space in the relationship. Also, eventually, it will provide you with mental support and productivity to cope up with those anxieties and help you balance between your work and personal life.
5) Spending quality time with your friends and other family members
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One of the signs of a toxic relationship is manipulation. If your partner is trying to be manipulative by isolating you from your friends and other family members, it is a sign of oppression and toxicity. They tend to do this so that when they abuse you, they will rest assured that you can’t reach out to somebody else for help. This is one of the most important reasons why space is necessary for a relationship. You get the opportunity to associate with more people, your other family members, or your friends and spend some quality time with them. It will help them to be aware of your conditions so that they can reach out to you even without you telling them if they sense any inconvenience.
6) Helps in enhancing patience and becoming a good listener
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While you both are giving space to each other in the relationship, you both are investing more time and effort into it. It is a healthy practice for your relationship growth as well as individual growth. You both will evolve as better listeners the more you keep patience in yourself and listen to each other. There lies one of your growths. In this world, we often forget to listen while we are so busy speaking. Take a deep breath and pause. Sometimes your voice needs a rest and your ears long to hear.
Lastly, you need to remind yourself of the following things-
- It’s OKAY to feel NOT OKAY.
- Don’t feel guilty about your feelings.
- Validate your feelings irrespective of whoever feels whatever about it.
- Giving space is not moving apart from your partner. It is not the exit strategy.
- You are not entitled to always feel positive about it. But whenever negativity engulfs you, try to share it with your partner. At least if not for solutions, but for unloading yourself.
- It is okay to ask for space as long as there is no ignorance, abuse, or lack of transparency.
- If asking for space turns into abuse (whether verbal, physical, or mental), you need to reach out for help without a second thought.
- Start listening to your heart and stop blaming yourself for each and everything.
- Stop feeling guilty for asking for some space.
And most importantly love yourself. Even if everybody leaves your hand, try to hold on to yourself. After all, you cannot control somebody else’s actions, but you can control yours.