A romantic relationship is one of the best feelings in the world if it’s experienced and shared with the right person. But, how do we know that that person is the “right person”? Nobody comes into your life with a tag of “right person” or “wrong person” on their forehead. Only if you go through the journey and reach the destination, you will know whether it was worth the entire journey or how much worth it was! Everything in your life has something to teach you, even if it is your toxic relationship. Once you have come out of it and realized the toxicity in it, there starts another journey for you. A journey that will unravel the secrets of your well-being, the possibilities of your self-love, and a ray of hope. Though there is no particular formula to move on from a toxic past, there can be possibilities if you keep in mind the following things.
1. Accept yourself and your feelings
There is no harm in validating your feelings and accepting yourself the way you are. Rather, that is what you are supposed to do, because the entire world might be busy blaming you, but you need to assure yourself with a safe home inside yourself, from time to time. You need to accept the fact that something indifferent had happened in your life, and it is completely not okay if you keep on judging and blaming yourself for that. You feeling sad or unwell for it is completely natural and you need to accept that too. We judge ourselves more than others judging us. Don’t we? You need to accept that nothing is permanent in life, change is the only constant. Your sadness might turn into your happiness tomorrow, who knows? You can just work for it and hope for betterment. You just need to believe in yourself, you just need to start over from the point where you left. You just need to believe that you do not deserve any better, but you deserve the best. You need to give yourself chances that you did not prioritize earlier. You need to love yourself all over again, this time with no compromise. And most importantly, give yourself time to accept and move on. Do not rush.
2. Say NO to the escape mechanism
People often tend to escape situations that disturb them mentally or physically, but ultimately it ends up harming them more. In psychological practices, it is considered that the more consciously you try to escape from something, it will engulf you more and more. So instead, try to face the situation and try to face your inner self. This will help you to identify the roots of your problems and mitigate them. If that further worsens the situation, you can seek some kind of therapy or psychological help. After all, your mental health wellbeing is as important as your physical health wellbeing.
3. Do not wait for closure or answer
You might wonder, why am I suggesting this? You might wonder that you were genuine enough to deserve closure. Yes, you were. But are you sure about what the other person thinks about it? Are ready enough to take the baggage of forcing that person for closure?
While, you don’t know somebody’s intentions nor can you control them, all you can do is control yours. When you know that you were genuine and honest, does their validation matter anymore or even their closure? And, how long are you going to wait for it? Not an eternity, I guess? So, start accepting the fact that it is out of your control and you don’t even know what is going to happen next, let alone an eternity.
4. Try to forgive, but don’t forget
I am not saying that you have to forgive. But it helps if you do. If you constantly brood over the toxicities and keep on blaming and blaming, it will be a never-ending process, fetching you nothing but negativity. That negativity also requires energy, but do you need to expend that too? It will eventually weaken you mentally and result in successive guilt trips. After all, you don’t deserve that negativity. But never forget, actually such an occurrence never goes out of your mind, you just become indifferent to it. All you need to do is, just imbibe some life lessons from it.
5. Engage yourself in some kind of physical activity
Even if you are not that aware of or interested in physical activities, try to do it, even if it’s simple morning or evening work. It helps in staying physically fit (because your mental instability due to a toxic relationship might have affected your health), it also helps in letting out your aggression (if any) and most importantly it keeps you engaged. Such physical activities can also include meditation and deep breathing. That helps you to get rid of your stress and anxieties. It works!
6. Do the things you love
You might love to sing, then do it. You might love to paint, then do it. You might love to shop, then do it too!
Do the things that you love, even if it’s a long sleep after a long time. Just go for it. Pamper yourself. Not only will it help you to get engaged in some activity, but also help you restore your confidence in yourself and enhance your self-esteem. Who knows, you might end up discovering some of your talents in this long-needed quest! Give yourself that opportunity for self-exploration and self-love.
7. Take a break and go out for a solo trip
Even if you are not too fond of traveling, try it now. You will not regret it. Traveling to different places and taking a break from the daily monotonous life is just another process of detoxifying yourself. Not only will you explore the world, but also this will turn out to be a golden opportunity for self-exploration. You will meet different people from different places, you will get to know about their lifestyles and this will rejuvenate you. Nature is one of the best healers. I can vouch for that.
8. Pets are the best friends
Relationships with animals never turn out to be toxic, no matter what. They are innocent and they will love you more than anything else in this whole world. But you have to love them too, and I hope you surely do that!
So, why not pet one? They can be your best friends and the best secret-keeper. They will never give you a chance to feel lonely. Their company will eventually restore your peaceful mental health. But, you also need to take care of them and fulfill all the responsibilities. They will need you the same way you need them. So, why wait? Grab the opportunity and give your best buddy the home!
9. Don’t be harsh on yourself
If you somehow fall in love again, let it happen. Don’t be harsh on yourself or feel guilty about it. Love is not promised to be a one-time experience. Give yourself that chance to explore love once again. It’s your and the other person’s choice in case of a relationship, but who is stopping you to love? Even if it is one-sided, don’t be harsh on yourself. Remember the 3Ls of Life- LIVE, LOVE, AND LAUGH.