How to Make Your Partner Secure in a Relationship: 20 ways

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Knowing how to make your spouse feel confident with you is one of your emotional obligations in a relationship.

When they have built relationship stability, they may redirect the resources they would have spent on petty matters into ensuring that your partnership grows more assertive and that you achieve greater goals together.

We've been taught that confidence in a relationship is entirely dependent on the individual. We've been told that feeling secure in a relationship is a person's duty. Time has shown, however, that true security in a relationship is the result of determined efforts made by all sides.

A relationship requires a lot to function. From the honeymoon stage on, everything may be fun and games, but this is not the reality. A relationship requires a lot of effort from two people, especially when talking about people with short attention spans and limited patience (plus!). Not only must we express to our partners how much we love and care for them, but we must also make them feel comfortable in the relationship for it to thrive.

couples looking at each other under sunset


What exactly is emotional safety?

Emotional security is divided into two sections, both of which require careful thought.

When it comes to your mental health, there are issues with emotional stability and well-being. This has to do with your self-perception and how you interact with the world in general. Your past experiences and the kind of attachment style you've established have an impact on how secure you feel emotional.

There is also emotional security in terms of relationships. It takes both of you to generate and maintain this degree of emotional safety. Communication and trust are vital for emotionally safe unions.

Two Person Holding Pinkies


This post will examine how to make your spouse feel safe in a relationship.

1. Keep your promise and follow through on your activities.

The purpose of building trust is for others to believe what you say. However, bear in mind that creating trust necessitates not just honoring the promises you make, but also not making promises you can't maintain.

Keeping your word demonstrates to people what you expect from them, and as a result, they are more inclined to treat you with respect, fostering additional trust.

2. Convey Positive Information.

We tend to be quite verbose while offering criticism rather than when making compliments. That would be detrimental to all relationships, not just romantic ones. Inform your lover of all the lovely, joyful, and loving things you think about them. It's always wonderful to know these things and not have to wonder.

3. Celebrate and show them Appreciation.

Giving your spouse purposeful praise and celebration is another method to help them feel safe in a relationship. Never presume they are aware of your love and celebration for them if you are dedicated to them.

Repeat the magic words aloud frequently.

4. When you get home, greet each other.

Say "hello" first, then proceed. Even though it sounds cheesy, greeting your spouse when they arrive home is critical. It expresses your joy to your companion and often signifies "I missed you."

Let's face it: it might be frustrating to arrive at an event and discover that no one has greeted you or even seems to recognize your presence. The same goes for your spouse, so remember to greet them with a nice embrace and kiss when they get home! Even a small amount of time spent on routine will significantly improve the happiness of your relationship.

5. Learn how to interact with people effectively.

Poor communication is a big contributor to relationship failure. Making explicit promises and agreements is a critical component of good communication.

Building trust entails some risk. It requires allowing others to take risks as well as yourself to demonstrate your dependability. Effective communication is critical for getting through this. Without it, you may realize that the messages you intended to send but did not do so are no longer there.


6. Play no games.

The mental games people engage in are the most significant factor that may end a relationship. Mind games are destructive, unhealthy, and incredibly annoying to deal with. There is no grandeur in keeping someone on the verge of death so you may experience the rush of being pursued. None. Therefore, quit the games (and stop waiting two hours before you text back for crying out loud). Never has it been acceptable to take others for granted, and it never will be.

7. Take yourself off of the market.

Refusing to leave the dating scene is the number one sign of "relationship insecurity." Making it known to everyone that you are no longer looking for a significant other is one certain approach to give your spouse a sense of security in the relationship.

The public can receive these messages in a variety of ways.

To begin with, you might wish to delete all of your dating website accounts. On the other hand, once you develop a strong love with your spouse, you might want to think twice about continuing to flirt with people who aren't your significant other.

When you flirt with other people, you give your spouse the impression that you need something else that they are unable to provide. This frequently leads to relationship "disaster," as they may get resentful and withdraw.

8. Create a weekly check-in time.

There sometimes seems to be no end to hustling your children from doctor's appointments to practices to school and back. Because we live in a time when everything is always "go, go, go," it's critical to schedule weekly check-ins with your spouse. A weekly get-together does not sound like the most romantic notion ever. However, when the kids have gone to bed, pour yourself a glass of wine or make plans to meet for coffee during your lunch break.

You may set out 30 minutes each week to check in with yourself in various ways. During this time, you might discuss what happened that week or set plans for the future week.

A chance to discuss how you're doing. If you feel as though you have nothing to say, we've put up a list of 21 things that are likely to spark conversation.

9. Remind yourself that developing and earning trust takes time.

Trust-building requires constant effort. Avoid the mistake of setting your expectations too high too quickly. Take baby steps and make little promises at first to establish trust; as that trust increases, you will feel more comfortable making and accepting more significant obligations. In general, if you trust someone, they will reciprocate your trust.

10. Don't be dishonest.

It takes a lot of work to trust someone, especially those who have had failed relationships in the past. So it makes sense to maintain as much transparency as you can. Building trust is not facilitated by shady behavior or seeming distant and cool (to appear cool).


11. Do not keep them stranded.

Everybody enjoys being pursued and experiencing desire at some time in their lives. It's acceptable to keep someone in the friend zone while you determine whether or not to date them (for a short while).

But when you know you don't want to date or commit to someone, and you let them hang on for the longest time, that's when it turns cruel.

Even if you ultimately agree to their proposition to commit to a relationship, these nasty mind games may leave them with a severe mistrust of you.

When you realize you aren't ready to date someone, you must communicate your decision as soon as possible. Tell them what's going through your head. By doing this, you may free yourself from the guilt of dragging someone along and wasting their time.

Playing horrible mental tricks on them? That is not how to create a sense of security for your spouse in a relationship.

12. Remember to date your spouse!

Are you aware that dating while married is still possible? You ought to be dating because you are married. It's simple to become stuck in the cycle of waking up, having a cup of coffee, kissing, leaving the house, having dinner with the kids, drifting off to sleep, and repeating. Because of this, it's easy for your connection to get quite stale.

Every week, schedule a date night where the two of you spend the entire evening together. Indulge in ice cream during the summer, go to a nice restaurant, and see a movie you both want to see.

There are several chances to enjoy a wonderful date night that you both deserve.

13. Take your time making judgments and thinking before acting.

Make only obligations that you are willing to accept. Say "no," even if it means disappointing someone, with courage. When you agree to something and then don't do it, everyone loses.

Keep a record of your commitments and be aware of all you have on your plate. Building trust with family, friends, and coworkers requires organization. It enables you to decide for yourself whether or not to agree to requests for your time and energy.

14. Attempt.

Allow your spouse to not be the only one making every attempt to meet, communicate, and move things ahead. You don't want to appear disinterested. If you are busy, let them know, and promise to get back to them as soon as possible. The impact of little actions may be enormous.

15. Give them no reason to question your honesty.

Have you recently changed the passwords on your devices without informing them?

Do you now get home late from work smelling like someone else?

No matter how casually you take calls, do you have to leave the room to do so?

Rest confident that your spouse is taking notes, and they may confront you one day.

When attempting to make your spouse feel safe in a relationship, you must ensure that you never give them a reason to doubt your sincerity.


16. Please share your everyday highs and lows.

Something along the lines of "for better or worse" was almost certainly written in your wedding vows. It is vital to convey the "good and bad" in your relationship frequently. Make it a dinnertime routine to share a highlight and a lowlight from the day. This might even be something in which the kids take part! Sharing one high and one low with your spouse each day is an excellent strategy to maintain good communication.

17. Improve your teamwork abilities and participate openly.

People are more inclined to appreciate and trust you if you play an active position in a team and contribute. It's also critical to demonstrate your readiness to trust people while creating trust in a team.

This is demonstrated through being open and eager to contribute and interact. In other words, evaluate what others say, showing that you are actively listening, courteously providing your opinions and comments, and showing that you are eager to be a member of the team.

18. Little considerate activities demonstrate that you are paying attention.

Another technique to help your spouse feel comfortable in a relationship is to perform small thoughtful activities that demonstrate your attentiveness. Your partner, for example, may have noted that bringing out the garbage every other morning is a little unpleasant.

Consider putting out the garbage every morning before you leave for work.

As little as that activity appears to be, it conveys the message that you are concerned about their well-being and want them to feel at ease in the connection. This makes them want to listen and repay the favor whenever and wherever they can.

19. Exchange glances with one another.

As youngsters, we were all trained to look people in the eyes when we spoke to them. Mom and dad were most likely correct because eye contact is just as important in marriage as it was when we were children! Whether you're out with friends or conversing with your children, having the person you're speaking with check their phone or look around the room as you speak may be both impolite and frustrating. It gives the appearance that the other person is indifferent or just does not care what you have to say. The same holds when you and your partner talk.

20. Accept responsibility for your errors.

When you try to hide your mistakes, others can know you're lying. Being truthful displays your sensitive side, which helps to build trust with people.

This is due to their perception of you as more like them—everyone makes errors. If you act as if you never make errors, you will make it harder for others to trust you since you will have established an unneeded barrier between the two of you. People are less inclined to believe you when they only see your "perfection."


To end with…

As we become older, we fine-tune our expectations and behavior by learning not to trust untrustworthy people, which protects us from being disappointed again. So, while attempting to build trust in a relationship, don't say anything you won't follow through on.

It's also crucial not to say things that aren't true to how you feel. Consistently uttering falsehoods, even if they seem minor or insignificant, will cause the other person to lose faith in what you say.

Another part of developing trust is to become more vulnerable in the relationship as it progresses. When people rely on one another, they feel more trusting. We create trust in our relationships by being vulnerable.

Emotional vulnerability is also crucial. Building trust means exposing yourself to the possibility of being damaged. This might include discussing things that frighten you or exposing features of yourself that you don't find appealing. In other words, trust is built when our partners have the potential but do not disappoint or damage us.

Respect is essential for building trust. One of the most emotionally damaging things our partners can do to us is degrade us or look at us with condescension or contempt since a lack of respect breaks trust.

Any connection, even one between a sales assistant and a customer, requires a minimum amount of trust and, consequently, respect. Maintaining that fundamental level of respect becomes even more vital when the relationship gets more emotionally intimate.

Unfortunately, we occasionally display our worst characteristics to our spouses. We may be more likely to strike out against individuals we know than strangers. We lose sight of the idea that respect is much more important to people we love because of the harm that lack of regard will inflict over time.

Finally, to create trust with your spouse in a marriage or relationship, consider reciprocity. In other words, be willing to both offer and receive. Both parties must be at ease with their degrees of offering and receiving.


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