One’s expectations from life and goals in the present day times are so many that most of us cannot help but spend extended hours in the office working to ultimately achieve the goal. While this is one scenario where your partner might be caught up in work all the time, a lot of people actually do tend to be workaholics. Their work seems to be all that they care about, and even outside office hours, they just have one thing on their mind: work. Then there are people whose career choices are such that they have no option but to work endlessly. Take the long working shifts of a chef or the job of a CA during the year-end for instance.
What is common in all these cases is the severe impact that this kind of work behaviour tends to have on one’s personal life. To the other, it might feel as if the partner has completely replaced personal life with work, and it can be really difficult to cope with, especially over extended periods of time. Any relationship relies heavily on communication and quality time in order to sail smoothly and make the bond stronger in order to tackle the tough times ahead.
And let us face the truth. Time and communication are aspects where workaholics cannot help but lack. It is as if their work is the center of their universe, and it exasperates and irritates them to no end when their work is compromised in any way.
This, however, does not mean the end of a relationship. When there is plenty of trust and understanding from both sides, and a mutual desire to make it work; dealing with a workaholic, though frustrating, is often worth it. Work is an integral part of one’s life; only for some, it is more important than what it is for others. Accepting this bitter truth is one thing, letting it ruin your love life is another. And while the former is something that should be done, the latter needs to be avoided at all costs.
Read on to find how you can make your relationship with a workaholic work, and manage to retain the charm and intimacy.
Focus on the quality of time spent, and not the quantity
Your partner will of course not be able to give his or her hundred percent after every long day of work. But if he or she manages to make up for it over the weekend or off days, be grateful for it. Instead of focusing on the number of hours you two spend together each day (which in this case will be less); focus on how much fun and enjoyment you two have when you are actually together! At the end of the day, even a few hours of quality we-time spent together is way better than an hour a day of useless banter and no real communication.
Understand the needs of your partner
Turning a blind eye to the nature of your partner is not going to help. Not now and not ever. And ignoring the matter will only make matters worse. Thus, it only makes sense to understand the needs of your partner. Perhaps it is actually his or her work that gives your partner true joy, and he/she is really passionate about it. Or maybe the choice of profession is such that nothing can be done about it. Perhaps this obsession with long working hours has some connections which are way deeper than what you are looking at. Whatever the case here is, make sure that you are supportive and understanding. Of course, this will get frustrating over time with you wondering why you are always the understanding one. But if you two actually decide to work it out with complete support and understanding, you yourself will be amazed with the results.
Stop comparing yourself with other couples
So what if your neighbours go out for dinner every second day? Or if your friend’s partner has the time to binge-watch movies every night after work. Comparing and competing with other couples will only make you feel more and more frustrated, and things will take a turn for bad if this goes on for long. A better approach to this would be to appreciate all the opportunities that you have. Consider all the time that your partner takes out just to be with you. No relationship is perfect. If you lack on this aspect, you are probably much more well off than the others in some other. And this is reason enough to be happy.
Make the time that you have together count
If you spend all the time that you two get together nagging and complaining, you will ruin that moment too. Instead, make sure that you make the most of the time that you get to spend together. Really make each of that moment count, do something special to please your partner, or simply just sit and have deep conservation. And this holds true for both of the partners. If you happen to be the one who is a workaholic, you need to make sure that when you do get the chance to spend some quality time with your partner, you give your hundred percent to it. Just because your partner is really supportive and encouraging of your choices and dreams, it does not mean that you are entitled to take advantage of it, and let things be. Put in genuine efforts, whenever you find the time to.
Set up some routines and ground rules
Being a workaholic is one thing, but using that as an excuse to conveniently not contribute to nurturing your relationship is another. Make sure that the two of you sit down and establish some basic rules, which none of you can break. This can be as simple as praying together every morning or making a no-phone use rule during dinner time. This will ensure that no matter what, you do get some together, to talk and unwind after a hectic day. However, do keep in mind that these rules will often be broken, so do not lose your temper whenever that happens!
Relationships do require a lot of effort and patience, and of course, tons and tons of understanding. But at the end of the day, it is one thing that is totally worth it! So do not be afraid to give it your best shot, ever!
Be prepared that this will need a lot of patience, understanding, and commitment on your part. In fact, you might even feel that you are putting in more effort than your partner, which might make you question everything at times. But remember that a strong relationship is never 50-50. Sometimes, you will have to put in more effort, which is okay and totally normal! When you are finally able to make it through, all these tough times and hardships will not matter. What you will fondly cherish are all the amazing moments and memories that the two of you created together.