The wrong one will find me in peace and leave me in pieces, but the right one will find me in pieces and lead me to peace.
Remember this mantra to live happily after. It is very important to have someone who understands you, supports you, and helps you in every way.
Everybody loves ‘love’. It gives us joy and makes us feel that we are on a cloud nine. When your partner does not expect perfection from you just like you don’t expect it from him. When you are loved for who you are and nothing needs to be changed.
Can you imagine how amazing it is to find someone who wants to hear about all the things that go on in your head?
However, if you’re unhappy in your relationship always remember you are allowed to walk away from people who hurt you. You don’t owe an explanation for taking care of yourself. If your relationship holds you back it's time to analyse for your sake.
Toxic relationships occur when people are giving more importance to love and not considering- respect, trust, faith, and belief as important aspects too.
Many people prioritize love over other important things which makes you a doormat i.e. being lied to, not being trusted, treated without respect, etc.
When you are in a toxic relationship, it is quite hard to see the red flags.
Here are some signs that you might notice in yourself, your partner or the relationship itself -
1. Lack Of Privacy
You should respect each other’s privacy and not overstep the boundaries right from the very beginning. It is wrong to invade someone’s personal dignity. If you are finding it hard to respect the boundary, it means you are not able to trust them. Doing activities like asking your partner’s password for social media, phone, email, or expecting them to tell you where they are going all the time, violates their basic right to privacy.
2. Lack Of Support
Doing something spectacular and not gaining any support is probably the worst thing you can feel. You may think you have not done anything that great and you start self- doubting yourself. Your partner should feel happy to see you succeed in life and achieve your dreams, it should be the other way around. But when you are in a toxic relationship, every achievement becomes a competition.
3. Toxic Communication or No Communication
Photo Credits- Psychology Today
This happens when you don’t even remember when was the last time you had a decent conversation or when you did happen to converse, it was filled with sarcasm, catcalling, or criticism. And now the time has come when you start avoiding each other and prefer not to be talking to each other.
4. The Lies
No relationship survives on lies. Trust is the most important thing, once trust is gone there is nothing there. It is one of the worst things to ever do to your partner. You should be careful, once you see everything crumbling apart and make a good decision for yourself and the relationship.
5. Lack Of Self- Care
Photo Credits- Jessica Isham
In a toxic relationship, you start forgetting to self-care and start withdrawing from the activities that you earlier loved to do like gardening, reading a book, going on a long walk , etc. Since there is too much stress you start forgetting what your real personality is.
6. Physical or Verbal Abuse
Photo Credits - Mark Manson
If this is happening to you, you should really get out of the relationship that you are in. No matter what happens, you should never let anyone abuse you. It is considered a crime.
You may believe that physical abuse is much worse than emotional abuse, but being cat-called, yelled at, and being blamed for something you have not done is equally worse.
7. Buying the solutions to a problem
Whenever a major conflict occurs, you try to solve it by buying something or planning a vacation somewhere. By doing this, you are pushing the conflict under the rug and not solving it. You should deal with it instead and talk about how you are feeling. One should never use fancy things to replace dealing with emotional issues.
Photo Credits- Mom Junction
This starts happening when your partner starts getting pissed off when you are talking, texting or spending time with someone. This often leads to insane behaviors such as hacking the phone, looking through texts, or even following them around town.
Without fixing that jealousy, you are only going to push your partner away.
9. Blaming your partner for your emotions
Blaming your partner for your own emotions is very selfish. When you set that your partner is responsible for the way you are reacting, it leads to a codependent relationship. Instead of doing this you should take responsibility for your actions and let your partner be responsible for his own actions.
10. Holding the partner Hostage
Photo Credits- Canva
Not letting you meet with people you love is a very stupid thing to do. This may happen because of too much jealously or not letting the person be happy. As an individual, you can do whatever thing you want to do without asking someone and free from all the constraints.
HOW TO TURN A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP INTO A HEALTHY ONE
The road to a healthy relationship from a toxic relationship is not an easy path. Most people might find it very hard and may give up in between before achieving the goal.
You and your partner should be on the exact same page and be willing to change your relationship for the good.
1. Both partners are willing to change
If one of you are not serious about changing then this will be up to no good. They should be well aware that by doing this your relationship would be stronger and healthier.
2. Telling the Truth
No matter what happens, the couple should be honest and tell everything that they are feeling and start voicing out their opinions. It takes courage to tell the truth so be sure not to pass your judgement.
3. Have Mercy
Forgiveness is the best thing you can do as a person. You should respect and be thankful for what the other person is doing. Sometimes, you might feel bad about their actions but there is nothing wrong about being a loving person.
Forgiveness and kindness go hand in hand.
A relationship should make you feel the best about yourself, where you are the happiest. You should not be stressed and pressured into doing something which you don’t want to do.
It is one of the best experiences that will ever happen in your life.